Thursday, August 26

Fresh Start

Well, it's official!  I am now a Religion and the Arts major and a music minor!  For the sake of my voice, I am still taking elective music lessons with my teacher to figure out all of my crazy vocal issues and see if we can fix my voice.  The best part of all of this is: no more MUG, no more seminar, no more juries!  I don't have to do a senior recital, which is a HUGE relief!  I only have four songs this semester and I can wholly focus on my vocal health, without the added pressure of performing.  Also, my accompanist, whom I love dearly, will still be able to play for me this semester before she moves to Bolivia next year.  I cannot tell you how excited all of this makes me for this semester!

As happy as all of this sounds, the most important thing I have gained from this quick transition is peace that only comes from God.  I am not going to lie, making the decision to drop my music major was a bit agonizing.  I worried about telling my parents, about telling my voice teacher, about telling all of my music major friends.  I worried that I would regret the decision and that I was only doing it to find the 'easy way out.'  I prayed and prayed and cried and cried, until I decided that I couldn't put it off anymore: I had to decide what I was doing.  Dustin and I happened to be eating at Friday's talking about all of my options (which he totally supported me dropping my music major--he knows how much of a theology nerd I am) when my dad calls my cell phone.  I stepped out into the lobby and answered, and he told me that he and Mom had read my blog.  I mean, literally, my heart stopped.  This was the big moment for me... what did my parents think?  He told me that he and my mom both supported my decision to drop my music major if that's where I felt God was leading.  He said that I didn't need to be scared about talking about it to them and they completely understood.  I instantly started crying.  This was one of those rare instances where I felt so unconditionally loved and supported, I couldn't even hold in my emotions.  The hostess standing at the door probably thought I was insane, but I instantly felt a weight off of my shoulders.  As much as I could talk about my options and debate what was best, I knew I had already decided what direction I thought God was leading.  That was it for me.  No more agonizing, no more pressure.  Suddenly, the new semester looked exciting and fun.  Sure, I was 11 credit hours away from a major, but now that is 11 credit hours I can devote to ANY classes I want to take.  That is like Christmas to me!

My decision was further solidified today, when I had my very first voice lesson as an elective student.  My reacher and I were just picking repertoire, so we had about 30 minutes just to chat.  My teacher asked a little about my religion major and what I wanted to do when I graduated.  I told him all of the options I am considering, and then he told me that I made the right decision.  He said so many students are scared to tell him they are dropping their music majors, and for absolutely no reason.  He says that he looks at them every time and says, "This is your life; not mine.  You have to be happy with whatever you do in college."  College is a big time for a young person and we don't have the benefit of much hindsight while we're making important decisions, such as what we want to build our careers on.  He said that when asked what he would do if it wasn't music, he replies that he would go into Biblical Archaeology.  What?!  This is coming from a man that sings at the Metropolitan Opera, won NATS council auditions not once but twice, is asked frequently to sing in operas all over the world, and has won numerous prestigious contests and career grants.  In other words, he is an all-around classical music stud.  All this time, I had no idea he was so interested in this field.  We talked about other various Bible-related topics for the rest of the time, and then he sent me on my way.  I felt so encouraged by this short conversation!  God has put so many incredible people in my life that help guide and direct me, both at home and at Belmont.  I cannot help but be incredibly grateful for God's provision and direction while I've been in school.  Looking over the last three years and how I've slowly been guided to the place I am now, I could not be more excited for this year and my future.  Sometimes the best way to be optimistic about the future is to look at where you have come from: God leaves His fingerprints all over your life.  We are not very good at recognizing how God is working in the present time, but His provisions become clear when we look into the past.  I pray that God continues to direct and shape me this year and that I will be sensitive to His leading.

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